The title above comes from Simon Garfunkel's I AM A ROCK, and the lyrics continue "and a rock feels no pain."

When we were kids, we played outside in the neighborhood and sat talking together on the steps near our curbs, out of earshot of parents.
We laughed, discussed life, had our first boy-girl flirtations, and often at dusk would play hide-and -seek, running and hiding all over our block.
We would tear off running between houses and hiding in the bushes of old ladies, probably scaring them to death and making their dogs bark.
But it was glorious fun-when the days were warm and the evenings were long in Texas.

As late fall and winter descended, we were back indoors with our families and the warm stove and floor furnaces of our 1930s homes. (Our homes were old even when I was a child.)
Loneliness! Homework and tests became a concern; along with waking early when it was still dark to get to school.
Stress replaced the carefree games of summer, and winter was both a wonderfully bright and horribly dark time.

Later in life, the wiring path of winter depression in the brain may bring suffering.

There is deep meaning in the memories of our lives: the seasons, the amount of sunlight overhead, the people we were with in life as memories were made and our young brains were wired.

For example, evening might be a sad time if daddy came home at 6 pm and fighting began.
Week-ends could have been a time for drinking and abuse.
Holidays - a time for family emotional explosions over expectations for the way the house looked, the chores and expense, and expected decorous behavior.
It is uncanny how our feelings today mimic those ingrained in us from the past.
The past can be stronghold and it can be broken, with spiritual reorientation.

Jesus is the LIGHT that banishes our darkness. Gratitude to Him for salvation and blessing bathes us with healing brain chemicals.
As a cancer patient, or former patient getting check ups, I need to walk in that light. And not just sometimes.

Keeping up with family and friends battling cancer and other disease, we see the fear and dark thoughts within them, and we understand.
People can actually soak in and swim in fear, and I have done it.

Death is real and something we want to be prepared for.
Like a student studying for a test, perhaps we want to make an A in death.
We want to be ready, and have a "good death"- one that does not hurt.
I went through that: Is my will up to date? Do I want a cemetery or cremation? Should we sing ""Holy Ground" as we did at Mom's funeral? How will my young grandchildren cope?

I came to realize that after those decisions were made, I needed to again seek the LIGHT and not dwell in dark December.

Honestly, I want to feel -REALLY FEEL-Christmas in my heart.
Cancer deadened my heart to joy in life because I consciously (or subconsciously) predicted life was not going to be for me.

For a Christian, to be frozen or dead to joy is a very tragic thing.
We are to be dead to SIN, not to joy!

Jesus came to bring light, hope, and healing to December-and to every day.
He is not limited by our memories, nor our disordered brain patterns. He is not affected by our vain imaginings, nor our depression,
He has compassion, yes-but God is sovereign and powerful to accomplish His perfect will.
HE WILL WIN AND TAKE US WITH HIM!!

Let the carols of Christmas be that summer in our hearts.
May He come with healing in His wings for our bodies and souls.

We are not rocks, nor islands*-but the Body of Christ, rising as one to sing a million hallelujas at His coming.

*I Am A Rock"---Paul Simon